OtakuFanFic

poor ayame! one thing i wish you'd do is describe your characters; what theyre wearing, what their hair and eyes look like, that stuff. I picture ayame with caramel-colored hair kinda like nami's with choppy side-slanting bangs and a red bandana crooked on her head, and her eyes are deep blue, the color of the sky after dark (but not midnight. thats purple). as for her outfit.....well, i cant exactly pick every detail out of my mind. but she's got something like a blue-and-white horizontal striped tight t-shirt under a vest like luffy's and big gold hoop earrings and some wristbands (the workout kind made of cloth) and little minishorts, maybe white, and brown combat boots, and maybe some sleeves over her knees, like ino in shippuden but white, not fishnet, and then of course her sword.....yeah shes got a lot going on. you should start opening the stories with character descriptions. i hate not knowing what a character looks like.

hahaha! i don't know jack about one piece so i was reluctant to read this stopry, but i like your other stuff, so i decided to give it a shot. It's awesome. there are a few mistakes; one, dont say 'but yet,' just say 'yet' (line 1). two, u put that luffy said something, then that nami exclaimed something, then nami explained (lines 29, 30, 31). nami twice. shouldn't luffy and the first nami switch? still, love the story, love you (not like that). ok bye

omg the latest chapter gave me an idea....and is Ayame tlaking about what i think shes talking about?

Author's Response: xD it did? and yes she is :P

omgz it took me forever to get caught up but i love it you need to hurry up and finish it

Author's Response: lozl im trying xD i had writers block >_<